I’m sick of doing well, (growing emotionally) long enough to be hopeful. Meanwhile, only to react to something, whatever it is, and erase all the good things from my chalk board. Resulting in a focus on my behavior because of how I said, what I said, and how I acted when I said it!
Dad or Leader
If you are a Dad, you know the role comes with an innate “power position.” The resulting challenge: using it compassionately and proportionately. Same goes for executive leadership roles.
It’s Embarrassing
It’s embarrassing for me to be on edge: economic uncertainty, lack of sleep, physical pain and the resulting stress thoughts–‘what will this become?’ It consumes my mind, fires up the bees in my body and creates a very negative vibration. It feels unnatural. Therefore, I fail at times to communicate this state to others, trying to “STAY STRONG!” Only to blow it later.
It’s The LITTLE Things
When I apologize to my children or team members, I feel disciplined. That is to say, it just doesn’t fit my idea of a ‘Dad Role’ or the ‘Loving Compassionate, Empowering Man’ that Dr.Betty https://www.linkedin.com/in/drbettyuribe/ helped me define years ago. My clients speak of being able to handle ‘a nuclear war’ yet melt down over little events (think tooth paste, jammed shredder, printer, towels on floor, undercooked bacon, manners, not keeping your word or talking back in public).
The Truth Speaker
When working with CEO’s brutal honesty is truth speaking. Likewise, when you are at the top it can feel as you have no rights: you protect yourself, hence, honest 360 feedback is difficult to get and receive face-to-face, creating further isolation. The power driven leader plows forward in times of uncertainty: to get the truth from the team or family is about trust, pause.
The Powerful & Wealthy
The more powerful and wealthy, the more others seem to tolerate poor interpersonal skills. For example, they don’t “trust” that the “truth” will help. Many believe it may set the employee free (think layoff, fired). How, then, to break through quickly, today?
Solutions
Listening to the “truth” from everyone, one-on-one, will reveal truth. Consequently, you must speak truth first: Tell your team, family and friends where you are focusing your personal development; you ‘need the truth to grow.’ Ask for direct feedback. Therefore, when wrong, promptly admit it. Let them tell you what they think of how you show-up. Listen. Learn and grow. Share your fears and truth; they will, too. Trust is a choice.
Humility is lost when you find it and there can be no absolute humility for humans, we are progress, not perfection. In short, fall down seven times: get up eight.
A Fine Artist, Musician, Writer, and Personality, Scott can be seen mixing paint, beats and prose in the basement or sliding on his Ferragamo’s into the board room throughout Southern California’s Wine Country. Currently, Scott is completing his second novel and feeding it into his blogs, developing his podcast, writing songs, creating art for installation at commercial and residential locations nationwide and building a new home with his wife and manager Jill. He is focusing on “being here now.” Live in the moment.